Bad Tip #3

If they come right out and ask "what's wrong with you? why are you single?" give them something fun to work with. Great responses include:

• "My therapist says I'm a sociopath"
• "I'm a kleptomaniac"
• "I've been told I'm racist"
• "I'm messaging you from prison"
• "I'm sexually attracted to meerkats"
• "I'm still being breastfed"
• "Persistent halitosis"
• "I have really tiny knees. Like, the knees of a 2 year old"

Can you think of anything I missed?

Tip #53

Bring cash on dates, just in case things go poorly and you need to get out, but you also have a conscience. Slam that $10 bill on the table and walk away!