Tip #15

If you must text or call someone to break up with them, it's best to do it when they're not at work.

Tip #14

If you've dated the same shitty people over and over again, it's time to change it up. Different hair,  different elbow shape, different style nostrils... the world is your oyster.

Tip #13

Avoid scheduling dates around the time you're going to have a dermatologist remove things from your body. Cauterized wounds look a little bit like herpes.

Tip #12

If you text them again after not speaking for many months and they say, "who is this?" do not respond with a knock knock joke.

If you MUST respond with a knock knock joke, at least try not to use that really weird one that no one ever understands.

Tip #11

I know it's tempting, but once you make it awkward, don't announce how awkward you just made it in attempts to make it less awkward. You're making it more awkward.