Tip #10

If he picks you up and is wearing a white undershirt, it's not a date.

Tip #9

Ghosting begins with a, "sorry I suck at texting" or "oops didn't see this til just now." Nobody sucks at texting these days. Peoples' mothers are texting and asking their kids how they're doing. You're being ghosted, son.

Tip #8

Chances are, a dude with a FBG$ tattoo on the inside of his lip won't REALLY want to watch Netflix with you.

Tip #7

You probably won't find your soulmate and true love on Tinder. I said probably won't, not definitely won't. But probably won't.

Tip #6

Protection may not feel sexy, but neither does gonorrhea.

Tip #5

If he quotes a Jesse McCartney song, he's not for you.

Tip #4

Cleaning out your bong really well isn't something to brag about on a first date. Just don't.