Tip #40

Going home with a guy on the first date to EXPLICITLY watch Parks and Rec with him will not turn out how thought it would. He doesn't really want to watch Parks and Rec, you sweet, innocent little daffodil.

Tip #32

Nothing good happens on Tinder after 9pm on a weekend. Or... like, ever. But ESPECIALLY those times.

Bad Tip #2

The best way to show a new girl that you are into her is to send her a picture of your genitals. If she doesn't immediately respond with gratitude, you should kick her to the curb because she's probably a lesbian and/or doesn't appreciate the finer things in life.

Tip #17

If you're not DTF (down to f***), you have to tell them immediately! Nowadays, the default assumption is that you're DTF, not that you want to date.

#RIPcourtship

Tip #6

Protection may not feel sexy, but neither does gonorrhea.

Tip #3

Don't tell someone you've had your asshole licked on the first date.