Tip #49

The REAL reason you should wait to get married until you're older: receding hairlines. What they have at 25, they may lose by 40. Things may not be what they seem! Beware!

Tip #46

Ladies: Wouldn't it be nice to date a guy that compliments your perfect brow shape?

NO. If he does, you're barking up the wrooooong tree. Send that dish back to where it came from!

Tip #40

Going home with a guy on the first date to EXPLICITLY watch Parks and Rec with him will not turn out how thought it would. He doesn't really want to watch Parks and Rec, you sweet, innocent little daffodil.

Tip #31

Guys: If a girl buys you clothes, she's trying to tell you she hates the way you dress. Gym shorts and old high school tee shirts aren't sexy.

Also: nobody cares that you were regional football champs in 2005.