Tip #38

One day, when you're sick of meeting boring suitors, someone with pet alpacas will sound like a really great option.

Tip #37

Timeless classic: Keep your shitting and your eating/playing separate. Shit outside of those areas, and bring your shit around the places you eat or play. When you're not shitting anymore, it goes back to wherever it came from, and you get to eat and play as a free man. Or woman.

Tip #36

Remember: All hope isn't lost. Sometimes, the Gods smile upon you, the sea parts, the planets align, and someone asking you out tells you about their DUI and revoked license BEFORE you have to suffer through a date with them.

#Blessed

Tip #35

Don't take pictures of the person you're dating. Those pictures will just end up on their Tinder profile and it'll really piss you off.

Tip #34

If you get someone's number when you're drinking and they ask what your last name is the next day, it's because sober them doesn't remember what you look like and now they're trying to stalk you on social media.

#beergoggles
#beerutiful

Tip #33

If at all possible, poop BEFORE your date. Trust me, when you're gone for longer than 5 minutes, they know what you're doing. POOPING.

Tip #32

Nothing good happens on Tinder after 9pm on a weekend. Or... like, ever. But ESPECIALLY those times.