Bad Tip #3

If they come right out and ask "what's wrong with you? why are you single?" give them something fun to work with. Great responses include:

• "My therapist says I'm a sociopath"
• "I'm a kleptomaniac"
• "I've been told I'm racist"
• "I'm messaging you from prison"
• "I'm sexually attracted to meerkats"
• "I'm still being breastfed"
• "Persistent halitosis"
• "I have really tiny knees. Like, the knees of a 2 year old"

Can you think of anything I missed?

Tip #53

Bring cash on dates, just in case things go poorly and you need to get out, but you also have a conscience. Slam that $10 bill on the table and walk away!

Tip #52

If you're on a dating app and have a bunch of people talking to you, you may forget why you stopped talking to them if they pop up again in your matches or message you out of the blue. In this situation, it's best to cut to the chase and ask them the hard hitting questions so you can jog your memory:

1. Did you ask me for nudes?
2. Do you have a job?
3. Who did you vote for? 

That may help you remember why you stopped communicating and prevent you from further wasting your time.

Happy swiping, people!

Tip #51

If you must wear a shirt with bae's initials, at least have some back up initials in mind, just in case they freak out. IE, Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift.

Taylor: OMG, you're creepy!

Tom: Uhh, I love TILDA SWINTON. Don't be so conceited, Taylor, GOSH! *wipes sweat from brow*

Tip #50

When you want to date a foreigner, but don't know any other languages and you're too lazy to travel: Canadians. You're welcome.

Tip #49

The REAL reason you should wait to get married until you're older: receding hairlines. What they have at 25, they may lose by 40. Things may not be what they seem! Beware!

Tip #48

If you find yourself on a really terrible date, go ahead and let the crazy out. Overshare. Tell them you have three pets and a messy house. Tell them you slashed someone's tires last weekend. Tell them you're a virgin with an incurable disease. Tell them all of the bad things about yourself that you usually let out very slowly. They will either get the hint, or think you're way too crazy to see again!