Tip #36

Remember: All hope isn't lost. Sometimes, the Gods smile upon you, the sea parts, the planets align, and someone asking you out tells you about their DUI and revoked license BEFORE you have to suffer through a date with them.

#Blessed

Tip #35

Don't take pictures of the person you're dating. Those pictures will just end up on their Tinder profile and it'll really piss you off.

Tip #34

If you get someone's number when you're drinking and they ask what your last name is the next day, it's because sober them doesn't remember what you look like and now they're trying to stalk you on social media.

#beergoggles
#beerutiful

Tip #33

If at all possible, poop BEFORE your date. Trust me, when you're gone for longer than 5 minutes, they know what you're doing. POOPING.

Tip #32

Nothing good happens on Tinder after 9pm on a weekend. Or... like, ever. But ESPECIALLY those times.

Tip #31

Guys: If a girl buys you clothes, she's trying to tell you she hates the way you dress. Gym shorts and old high school tee shirts aren't sexy.

Also: nobody cares that you were regional football champs in 2005.

Tip #30

Take a look at the friends and family of the person you're dating. If they're all shitty people, chances are, the person you're dating is shitty too.