Tip #34

If you get someone's number when you're drinking and they ask what your last name is the next day, it's because sober them doesn't remember what you look like and now they're trying to stalk you on social media.

#beergoggles
#beerutiful

Tip #33

If at all possible, poop BEFORE your date. Trust me, when you're gone for longer than 5 minutes, they know what you're doing. POOPING.

Tip #32

Nothing good happens on Tinder after 9pm on a weekend. Or... like, ever. But ESPECIALLY those times.

Tip #31

Guys: If a girl buys you clothes, she's trying to tell you she hates the way you dress. Gym shorts and old high school tee shirts aren't sexy.

Also: nobody cares that you were regional football champs in 2005.

Tip #30

Take a look at the friends and family of the person you're dating. If they're all shitty people, chances are, the person you're dating is shitty too.

Tip #29

"New phone, who dis" is truly the only acceptable way to respond to a text from someone you haven't spoken to in months.

Tip #28

If you're on a date and they're asking you about your family, don't automatically assume they're asking because they're going to track down your family and murder them. This indicates interest and is part of how someone gets to know you. I know. It'll take some getting used to.